I HAVE A STALKER

yup, it's true. so, here's how the the story goes...my friend is over visiting and we are playing a hand of cards when all of a sudden for no reason whatsoever she says "it's kinda creepy" and i say, "what's kinda creepy" and then she says, "the more i watch you sleep the more i love you". my heart dropped to my stomach. and now she's claiming these lame ass excuses about how it was in reference to a song, but i saw the way she was looking at me when she said it. she wants me. i don't know what to do. if she replies to this, you'll be able to tell for yourselves that i am in a scary situation here.

it was about this shade of purple

so, i go to a friends house to spend the night. it seems that most of the tenants that live in her complex can hardly find the trash barrels. Well, in her front yard what do you suspect we found? (don't worry no one would ever get the answer) yes, it was purple, and yes, it vibrated and yes it was about seven inches long.

now, here's the question. how does someone go about losing such a thing? does it fall out while you're walking to your car? or perhaps you decide to use it outside for a thrill? or what if the dog sees it and decides it his new play toy?

if anyone has an answer or theory, i'd love to hear it.

I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON...

i promise to never again speak to anyone else about anyone that i happen to know who has a love life. (aka sex life)
since i do not have a sex life, it does not mean that i can speak about other peoples sex life, and even if i did have a sex life, i still do not have the right to discuss such.
but if i had a friend who said i could not use their name but i could talk about their adventures, i would do that....
i have a friend who was wearing a piece of 'equipment' and fell asleep with the 'said equipment' on. and when that friend awoke, well all i can say is this, my friend was rather surprised to see that said friend had a morning boner.
this is all i am allowed to say about this incident....but as soon as i can i will be back to retell another adventure.

brittney beat me to it!!

unfair!! i get this great idea. and while it came to me under the influence of having the flu, i still thought the idea rocked. i wanted to cut off all my hair. i mean all of it. i thought how cool it would be to see what my head looked like under all this hair. i called my best friend to tell her and she said i had to wait and think about it. and in the meantime, what happened you ask? oh yes, miss brittney goes and does the same thing! copy cat. and now if i do it, people will just think i'm trying to be like her. and i'm cuter. its just not fair.

how is this possible???

i don't believe this. i decided to be brave and look up my loan amounts for school. i owe a lot. i mean a lot. i mean more than i can possibly expect to earn in the rest of my working lifetime. i owe an amount so large it warrants going back to bed. and now i'm taking out loans for my son to go to school. i can't remember how to post pictures to my blog, how can i be expected to pay back this much money?? anyone want to hire a poet who in all honesty really can't dance?

woo hoo---she's baaaaack

i'm eating fishsticks while i write this. do you know what i say when i am eating fishsticks? i say, mmmmmm fishsticks. so sad, if i could remember how to upload a picture i would put a picture of fishsticks here.

do you know what i say when i am eating chocolate pudding? mmmmmmmm pudding.

it is almost time for me to graduate. i'm thinking i will become a ballerina and dance in talent shows. i'm good. trust me.

my television has been very limited these days. i only get channel six (nbc) in and somedays fox. so my new favorite show is deal or no deal. i would always take the deal after the first or second offer. it would pay for me to travel around and dance.

til next time, ta ta for now!

I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

it's almost like an olympic event, only it's not. i forgot to mention that i finally kicked adam's ass at boggle. woohoo!! woohoo!!!! i shall take my victory lap now...

okay, i'm back. i guess i really don't have anything else to say, but really, when you think about it, i think winning at boggle is enough excitement for anybody for one day.

oh yeah. you know what i really don't like? checking my blog and finding out that lizy has not written back. i think the only way to rectify this situation is this: short of when you have to drive somewhere or sleep (as long as the sleeping does not exceed 8 hours) you need to be checking my blog on a regular basis (i'd suggest every ten minutes or so) i mean really, i hardly know myself when the inspiration is going to hit, how could i expect you to know. so, this seems to be the ONLY solution